After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
