I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
