you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
