I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
