I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
