This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
