So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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