Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
