My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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