Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Are we still banned from the library?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
