After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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