fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
