I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
