i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
