come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
