I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
