No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
