so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
