Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
