Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
