you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
