Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
