You work out of a Hotel?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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