Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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