I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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