I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
