How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
