ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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