I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
