i was rollin on her like bob the builder
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
