Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
