Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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