Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
