He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
