I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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