They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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