i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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