garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
