What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
