She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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