two words: eviction party
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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