Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
