I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
