i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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