I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
