worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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