Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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