so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
