She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
