it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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