You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
