I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
