the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
