office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
