So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
