Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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